


The Bands of Seven

by dragonwiles



Series: The Bands of Seven [1]
Category: Fushigi Yuugi, InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, 幽☆遊☆白書 | YuYu Hakusho: Ghost Files
Genre: Complete, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 14:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20508326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwiles/pseuds/dragonwiles
Summary: Anime characters come in sevens, and lots of cartoon characters are in bands. What if some of anime's most famous seven character groups formed bands and put on a concert together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The following disclaimer shall be construed so as to apply to all the fanfiction. The author does not own, and does not claim to own, anything copyrighted, trademarked, or otherwise owned by anyone else. The author does not claim to own Tenchi, its characters or events or jokes or concepts or dialogue, despite any usage of the above. All intellectual properties, copyrights, trademarks, and other items are the property of their respective owners.
> 
> \-------------  
Spoiler Warning  
\-------------
> 
> This fanfiction spoils the plot developments of many stories: that is, it reveals the plot twists of these stories before you may be ready. Don't keep reading if you want to be surprised by the real stories!

Anime characters come in sevens, and lots of cartoon characters are in bands. What if some of anime's most famous seven character groups formed bands and put on a concert together?

Featuring characters from InuYasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Fushigi Yugi.

Spoiler Warning

This fanfiction spoils the plot developments of many stories: that is, it reveals the plot twists of these stories before you may be ready. Don't keep reading if you want to be surprised by the real stories!

The Bands of Seven

Kagome Higurashi stopped short, her black hair stirring in the wind. She communicated tersely to her comrades, "I sense the presence of a Shikon Jewel Shard."

"Great work Kagome," Inuyasha sarcastically complimented her, his white hair moving as he leaned forward to point out the name "The Band of Seven" on the concert hall's marquee. "I don't know how we would have known that without you."

"It's nice to be appreciated, Inuyasha!" Kagome spat back. "I know that we all remember every member of the Band of Seven is kept alive by an embedded Shikon Jewel Shard!"

"Then you didn't have to point it out like we're all idiots," Inuyasha retorted.

"I was trying to be helpful!" Kagome fumed. "I was telling you that the Band actually is here and there was some point to coming all this way!"

Their handsome friend Miroku had been leaning against his staff with both hands, not from travel weariness, but from weariness at Inuyasha and Kagome's frequent lover's quarrels. He now took his right off the staff to hold it up in a gesture for peace. The palm of that hand was wrapped in dark cloth and beads which glinted in the setting sun.

"Now, now, let's just continue inside the concert hall as we were," Miroku suggested.

Sango took her giant boomerang off of her back so that she'd be able to fit inside the door. Her two-tailed cat Kilala leapt off the shoulder of her pink and red outfit so that she'd be able to remove the boomerang freely. Sango commented, "It's a good thing there isn't any barrier here, like there was the last time that we met the Band of Seven."

"Yeah," Inuyasha closed his fist, "this time their Jewel Shards are ours."

Miroku was studying the marquee closely. It read, "Band of Seven Reunion Tour: Back from the Dead Again. Featuring: The Band of Seven, The Suzaku Seven, Koutou's top artists: The Seiryu Seven, and introducing Seven Psycho Psychics."

Next, Miroku examined a sign with large letters near the door: "Truce in effect on these grounds, on pain of fee." Miroku nodded, remembering that those words were in rather smaller print at the bottom of the advertisement for the concert.

Looking back over his shoulder and gesturing to the sign, "We must all use great self control and refrain from attacking until the concert is over. At that time, the Band of Seven should be tired, making it easier for us to prevail."

"Do you all think I'm losing my memory?" Inuyasha yelled.

"Calm down, Inuyasha," the young fox-demon Shippo said as he crossed his arms and closed his eyes to register his disgust at Inuyasha's behavior. Inuyasha glared at the top of Shippo's head, since Shippo was standing directly next to him and was only as tall as his knees. He refrained from retaliating against Shippo as Kagome was still angry and had her eye on him.

"Speaking of self-control," Sango said grimly, "there's something else we need to take care of before we go inside."

* * *

The nefarious Band of Seven labored on the stage. Renkotsu and Ginkotsu were quickly setting up the amplifiers, while Bankotsu sat upstage and polished his halberd Banryu. Kyokotsu the giant tried practicing his choreography without his colossal stature bumping against the ceiling. Jakotsu, sitting on the edge of the stage, complained, "This is really boring. When are the cute fans going to be here?"

"You could actually do something to help," Renkotsu suggested tightly.

"Grrsh," Ginkotsu agreed.

"All right, I'll help you set up the amplifiers," Jakotsu grumbled.

"No, go do something else," Renkotsu insisted.

Jakotsu put his hands on his hips and protested, "You wanted me to help!"

"Do something else that's useful," Renkotsu demanded.

"It's not as though this is very hard," Jakotsu said, bending down and picking up an instrument's plug. "This plug just goes into the fourth socket on the amplifier, right?"

Just before the plug was inserted, Renkotsu grabbed Jakotsu's hand. "Yes, it does go in the fourth socket. Unfortunately, you were placing it in the third socket."

Jakotsu recounted the sockets with a puzzled expression. "Are you sure?"

Renkotsu carefully placed the plug in the correct, fourth socket. "Yes."

Bankotsu unexpectedly called from the other end of the stage, "Never mind them, Jakotsu- come help me practice."

Jakotsu readily headed towards Bankotsu, asking, "Practice combat or practice the song?"

"Either one, it doesn't really matter," Bankotsu informed him. Bankotsu's head suddenly snapped away from Banryu to note with surprise, "Hey, it's Inuyasha and his stupid gang." He then noted with extreme surprise, "What're they doing with the monk? I thought he was part of their team!"

* * *

Miroku struggled once again against the ropes that held him. "Friends, I assure you that these measures are entirely unnecessary-"

"They're definitely necessary," Sango told him.

"Sure are," Inuyasha agreed as he lowered from his shoulder Miroku's bound form, and placed Miroku in one of the concert hall's seats. Kagome and Sango quickly tied Miroku's hands to the armrests. The ladies, Shippo, and Inuyasha, then began to settle into seats around Miroku's seat, while Kilala leapt into Sango's lap.

Miroku tried to wiggle as he pleaded, "It's a very extreme solution-"

Kagome huffed at him, "We've known for months, Miroku, that you can't behave yourself in public. This is the only way to make sure that you don't try anything."

Inuyasha crossed his arms and placed his hands inside the opposite sleeves of his robe, both to show he was resolved to keep Miroku trussed, and because it was cool in the theater. "We'll release you when we're ready to get the Shards, and not a moment earlier. I don't want you to cause some situation that could mess up the battle."

Their words made Miroku incredulous. "Sango," he begged, "I can't believe that you don't trust me to-"

"I trust you to act like yourself, Miroku," Sango interrupted, her voice simmering with dim rage at his past transgressions.

Seeing that the others were unmoved by his plight, he turned to Shippo. "Shippo, you surely can that this is not reasonable. It's destroying our team's ability to cooperate and work together towards our common goal of beating Naraku."

Shippo eyed him cynically. "You're the one who's always destroying our cooperation. Every time we go into town, you're always off doing something shady, and then Kagome and Sango and Inuyasha have to yell at you. I think we'll save a lot of time if you aren't able to do anything fishy."

Miroku hung his head. "I suppose I should consider this ordeal as a penance and spend this time meditating upon modifying my behavior."

"That sounds like a wise idea," Shippo agreed with the improbably high amount of gravity a young child can muster.

Sighing heartbreakingly, Miroku lamented, "The thing I was most looking forward to about this concert was the food and drink that would be provided."

"I'll feed it to you," Sango said as blood began to seep into her cheeks.

Miroku blinked in surprise: he hadn't considered that. "Thank you," he said simply.

* * *

Jakotsu looked with mild excitement at InuYasha and his party. He asked, "Can we kill them now, Bankotsu?"

"Why bother?" Bankotsu asked. "We're not going to get any Jewel Shards out of it."

Kyokotsu, frustrated at the room's low ceiling, was trying to break it apart with his fists and having some success.

"I want to kill somebody! This is boring-" Jakotsu complained, then asked excitedly, "Hey, can we kill them? Those two who came in just now?"

Bankotsu looked at the young man and woman who had just entered. "I don't think they'll last very long to be much fun. Kill them after the concert so you can have something to look forward to."

* * *

The young man and woman, Yusuke Urameshi and Keiko Yukimura, entered the theater. They appeared to be entirely normal humans. All that was unusual about them was their greater than average attractiveness, and their failure to be amazed at a concert hall filled with unusual beings. Yusuke was unworried by Kyokotsu's size physical power, and Keiko was unconcerned with the dog ears which stuck out of the top of InuYasha's head. They did, however, find it odd that Miroku was tied up, and kept their distance from the row in which Inuyasha's group was sitting.

They arrived at the front row. From a side entrance came Kurama, a man with red hair and green eyes. The three greeted each other happily. Keiko sat down, while Yusuke went back towards the door. Kurama sat nearby and his eyes swept over the theater, noting Miroku's imprisonment with slight surprise and then a soft, understanding smile. Miroku got the feeling that this man had immediately worked out what was going on. Miroku wished the redhead would help him if that were the case.

Before Yusuke arrived at the door, a tall man with red hair and blue eyes entered, accompanied by a tall woman with brown hair and a shorter woman with ice blue hair.

"Hey, Kuwabara! Shizuru, Yukina, you're looking well!" Yusuke called out to them.

"Urameshi!" the tall man, Kuwabara, cried. "Good to see you again."

"Yo," the tall woman, Shizuru replied to Urameshi

"Hello, Yusuke," Yukina said politely as she bobbed her blue head in greeting.

The two groups moved rapidly towards each other. Kuwabara continued, "Yeah, you won't believe what I got on my test- what's going on in that row?" he suddenly pointed to Inuyasha's group.

Yukina put her hand over her mouth. "They've tied up that poor monk."

"I dunno, maybe it's some sort of weapon," Yusuke shrugged. "Or it could be a fashion accessory."

Shizuru took her cigarette out of her mouth and fixed Yusuke with a cynical gaze, then asked, "You really think that he tied himself up? Voluntarily?"

In the meantime, Kuwabara had advanced upon the row and demanded, "Hey, is this some kind of bizarre kidnapping or something?"

Inuyasha spoke before Miroku could turn the situation to his advantage. "No, it's more of a punishment. It's for his own good."

Kuwabara raised his fist. "I bet he has a rather different opinion."

Miroku would've raised his hand in a gesture of peace, but instead spoke up. "It may seem difficult to believe, but they are my friends."

Sango added her voice, "He just has a few problems with self-control, and we're trying to help him enjoy the concert without alarming anyone. We'll release him when the concert is over. It's the best compromise we could agree on."

Kuwabara nodded. "Oh, I get it." Everyone relaxed.

Kuwabara then began to charge forward towards the imprisoned monk. "You've got him under mind control and that's why he's agreeing with you!"

Yusuke's hand clamped on his shoulder before he went too far. "Take it easy," he told his friend, "let's hear them out."

Kagome stood up to try and explain the story her way, before Inuyasha decided to fight this belligerent fellow. "Look, it's like this story I was studying at school. It was assignment for our class on Western Culture. Ulysses wanted to sail past the silences, I mean the sirens, but they'd make people, erm, uh, oh no," she began to rummage through her backpack, "I never got to finish that assignment. Where's that book?"

Yusuke murmured to Kuwabara, "You're the one with the senses where this is concerned. You don't sense anything evil or demonic about them, do you?"

"I can sense a lot of energy from them, but I guess they're more friendly than most things with that sort of power," Kuwabara grudgingly admitted. "And they can't be all bad if they have a cat, even if it is a demon cat," he noted Kirara. "But if they are friends, that only makes it worse for them to tie him up!"

"It was under all the ninja food," Kagome said with some relief. She began to flip through her rediscovered textbook.

"Please, believe me, they aren't controlling my mind," Miroku said firmly. "If they had the power to do that, then you also would be under mind control by this time."

"Let me get this straight: you tied up a teammate?" Kuwabara asked, disgust staining his voice.

"I think there are quite a few dysfunctions in that bunch," Yusuke commented.

"You really think so?" Inuyasha shook his fist.

"Hey, no offense," Yusuke said mollifyingly. "My family's pretty dysfunctional. I'm not gonna judge."

"That knowledge allows us to forgive you," Shippo said sarcastically.

Yusuke didn't appear to have heard. He wandered back to Keiko and Kurama. Kuwabara shook his head and decided to leave this odd bunch behind.

Seeing they were gone, Sango commented, "Kagome, I've never heard of that sort of demon you mentinoned, the siren. You'll have to tell us more about them." Kagome laughed nervously, not sure how to explain that she had been too busy travelling with them to do any further work on the assignment.

Inuyasha growled and yelled at Yusuke's back, "The fake monk is the one who's dysfunctional, not us!"

"I'm not a fake," Miroku said stiffly. "In any event, we should concentrate more on our surroundings. I sensed a mild demonic aura from the blue-haired girl."

"I did as well," Sango agreed. "She looked like a frost demon. Inuyasha, can you smell any demons in here?"

"There's way too many scents," he grumbled. "There's a lot of old human scents in here, plus the stench from the Band of Seven, and their gunpowder. Then there's that disgusting smell like honey that's somehow gone bad."

"That's old popcorn left under the seats," Kagome told him. "It actually tastes good when it's fresh."

"I doubt it. It's making me sick right now," Inuyasha grumbled.

Kagome shrugged. "Of course it tastes terrible when it's been sitting under the seats for a few weeks."

"A few weeks?" Sango said weakly.

Kirara, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Inuyasha all grimaced and winced as they thought about the filth they were sitting in.

"It's worse than sitting in a barn!" Shippo said in amazement.

* * *

Bankotsu turned away from that bizarre scene and looked at Mukotsu, who had walked up behind him. "I've got a concoction all ready for the show," Mukotsu informed him.

Renkotsu approached as well. "The fireworks are set up as well."

"Grrsh," agreed Ginkotsu.

"Good," Bankotsu said, then turned to Kyokotsu. "The hole's wide enough now, just leave it alone for now."

"As you say," Kyokotsu agreed, surveying the gaping hole in the ceiling he'd created.

Suikotsu walked up onto the stage surrounded by a bunch of wide-eyed children. "Hello, sorry we're late. The bus broke down."

"Good, we're all ready. Our show's going to be the best they've ever seen!" Bankotsu said. "I haven't seen anything here that could top it."

Jakotsu was distracted by an unidentified flying object. "What is that flying around? Is that a bamboo hat?"

* * *

The bamboo hat settled into the front row on the opposite side of the aisle that Yusuke and his group had taken. A smiling man with blue hair, with bangs over his head and a staff in his hand emerged from the hat. The man looked carefully around the theater, then picked up the hat and spoke into it, "It's clear to come out, you know."

Five other people came out of the hat- a man with orange hair and flashy clothes and teeth that resembled small fangs, a small adolescent with an upswept brown ponytail, a tall dark-haired man with a white kitten on his shoulder, a man with purple hair arranged in a queue over his shoulder, and a very handsome brown-haired man wearing expensive clothing and a sword.

"This is certainly traveling in style, Chichiri. You have our thanks," the handsome man, Hotohori, told the blue-haired man.

"Glad to help, Your Majesty, you know?" Chichiri responded affably.

The red-haired man, Tasuki, looked around the room. "Wow! We got here ahead of Tamahome and Miaka, and they're already in this reality!"

* * *

Bankotsu pooh-poohed the scene. "A flying hat and teleportation has nothing on our high technology. We're still going to have the best show."

* * *

Chiriko looked worriedly at Inuyasha's row. "Why is that monk tied up?"

* * *

Next Chapter:

"I suppose their arrival was inevitable."

"A man with a painted face! It's so funny-looking!"

"I got a ten!"

"Heel."

"I don't have to take orders from the toddler anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the Suzaku Seven glanced over at the fettered monk, but before they could register the situation, the door flew open and Tamahome and Miaka entered. There was a sudden and joyous reunion between them all.

On stage, Renkotsu was disgusted by this sight and was about to turn away when he suddenly saw a child he'd never seen before- floating in midair. Renkotsu carefully picked up his jug of liquor, slowly, to make his action appear nonthreatening. If he remained casual, the levitating child wouldn't realize that the jug was a powerful weapon, that a swig or two would enable Renkotsu to breathe fire. He noted that the child was holding a small wooden spike.

"Hm?" the child growled at Renkotsu in a surprisingly harsh voice. "Are you going to get off the stage?"

"Why should I?" Renkotsu demanded. "We're the opening act."

A hulking man with graying hair appeared from the stage exit. "The Seiryu Seven won't wait to perform," he said. "Not when a chance to get revenge the Suzaku Seven is before us!"

Ginkotsu turned his imposing cyborg form upon the newcomers and pronounced, "Grsh."

A man with a painted face tapped Ginkotsu on the back. "I suppose you think you're intimidating. But when my illusions allowed me to sneak by you so easily, I realized you were- agh!"

Kyokotsu picked up the man with the painted face, and Jakotsu, who turned to look, started to laugh. "What have you got there, Kyokotsu! A man with a painted face! It's so funny-looking!"

There was a clap of thunder, and the lights dimmed momentarily as the concert hall suffered a direct lightning strike. A woman with red hair tied in a severe bun stepped in front of the grey-haired man and told Jakotsu, "Your painted face looks much funnier." Jakotsu pointed at himself in shock.

The lightning bolt had finally managed to distract the Suzaku Seven from their happiness, and they looked in irritation at the stage.

"I suppose their arrival was inevitable," the sword-bearing man, Hotohori, pronounced grimly.

"We've already won, so there's not really anything they can do to us, you know?" the blue-haired Chichiri reminded them.

"Nonetheless," Chiriko said with distaste, carefully surveying the child with a wooden spike, "it would be prudent to keep our distance."

"If they'll just listen to Yui," Miaka said worriedly, "they shouldn't attack us. I just don't know if they will listen to her."

"Hey, with all of us here, they won't try anything," Tamahome said, putting his arms around Miaka.

Bankotsu swaggered up to the red-haired woman, one hand on his hip while the other hand balanced the hilt of Banryu on his shoulder. "Well," he pronounced lazily, "I'd guess you're Soi of the Seiryu Seven. I'm Bankotsu, slayer of a hundred humans and a hundred demons."

Soi said crisply, "I am Soi. And you should know that lightning loves to diminish those who think too highly of themselves." She stared directly at Bankotsu as she said this, who reacted by smirking. Soi then said, "If you doubt me, we could see how well your giant withstands the weapons of heaven."

There was a flash, and a bolt of lightning suddenly struck Kyokotsu, who staggered backwards, dropping the painted man. Yusuke lept out of his seat with an oath, and Inuyasha and Hotohori drew their swords. The rest of the Suzaku Seven assumed combat readiness. On the stage, Bankotsu brought his halberd to the ready and said through his teeth to the rest of the Band of Seven, "Don't start anything." Then he made a fake smile and complimented, "That was nice illusion work."

"An illusion?" Mukotsu muttered, then realized that Kyokotsu was looking around with his mouth hanging open in surprise, unharmed and unsinged, and the painted man had been freed. The painted man was standing on the stage and smirking. "Really," the painted man said cockily, "how could you ever hope to defeat Tomo, the master of illusions?"

Suikotsu stepped forward. "We have our ways," he said gently, but with a threatening edge.

"Come, Tomo, Miboshi, we've scouted out the theater," Soi said firmly. "We've accomplished everything we desired." The floating child Miboshi and Tomo the painted man scowled but they left the stage. Tomo went to stand beside Soi and the grey-haired man, but Miboshi floated off the stage and into a row of seats just behind the Suzaku Seven.

"I think you want to pick different seats," the purple-haired man informed them as he raised a fist.

"These were reserved for the Seiryu Seven, Nuriko. Do try to remember that there's a truce in effect here." Miboshi sneered at him. "I think I'll enjoy sitting behind you, Chiriko," he said, turning his address to the brown-haired youth.

"I'll enjoy remembering that your evil was halted," Chiriko sniffed. Miboshi grimaced.

"Don't do that again," Soi said callously to Tomo.

"If you insist," Tomo grumbled.

"Hey," said Bankotsu a little too loudly. "You haven't introduced your friend. It's not very polite of you."

The grey haired man growled, "My name is Ashitare, and I've ripped apart a man with twelve times your strength!"

"Thirty times!" Nuriko yelled from the audience. "And I was the clear winner!" Ashitare stepped towards the voice.

A man with scale armor, flowing blond hair, and a lifeless expression strode commandingly out of the door behind Ashitare, Soi, and Tomo. His eyes bored into the back of Ashitare's head as he simply pronounced, "Heel." Ashitare gulped and was silent. Soi turned around and said excitedly, "Nakago!"

Nakago didn't reply, but when he reached her side, he put his right arm around her waist. The gesture appeared both affectionate and rib-crushing. Nakago said, "I've scouted the perimeter of the theater. It's all clear."

Bankotsu extended the point of Banryu to within an inch of Nakago's nose. "I don't know which would make me happier, having the stage cleared of you, or increasing my kill count."

"We should return to our seats," Nakago stiffly told Soi. Their group filed off the stage and towards their seats.

Miboshi asked suspiciously, "Where's your friend Chichiri gone to?" The blue-haired monk and his hat had entirely disappeared from the Suzaku Seven's aisle. As if on cue, the hat blew back into the theater, and Chichiri popped out of it. Miboshi repeated his question. "Miaka and Yui asked me to pick up Amiboshi, you know?" Chichiri replied.

Out of the hat popped a tall, teenaged blonde, sporting a blue headband that he wore parallel to his eyebrows. He turned back to the hat and extended his hand towards it. A hand reached out of the hat and the man took it, helping a mature woman step out of the hat. The blonde then did the same for a man about the woman's age. "Thank you, Kai-ka," the woman said.

Miboshi stared in disbelief. "Amiboshi, what on earth is wrong with you? What kind of a name is Kai-ka?" The blonde hadn't responded to the word Amiboshi, but did at the sound of Kai-ka. "My mother and father," he gestured to them, "gave me that name. I prefer it to the one I had."

Miboshi would've said something else, but Nakago and the others were coming closer, and he subsided.

Miaka stepped forward. "Amiboshi, thank you for coming. You're the only part of the Seiryu Seven act I can enjoy." Amiboshi nodded, "Thank you for getting the tickets for my parents. I'm glad I don't remember any of the Seiryu Seven."

* * *

"Where are they?" Kuwabara asked as he twisted around in his seat, looking at the entrance.

"Hiei may not have been able to get off duty yet," Kurama murmured.

"You mean he likes to dawdle," Kuwabara frowned. "I meant where's Mitarai? And all of them?"

Just then the door opened and the last band entered the theater, the Seven Psycho Psychics. Recognizing one of the members, Kuwabara jumped up, giving him the peace sign with both hands. "Hey, Mitarari!" Mitarai yelled back, "Hey, Kuwabara!"

"Wow, that's the third coincidental arrival tonight," Botan commented.

"Botan?" Keiko and Yukina turned in surprise and indeed beheld the blue-haired Grim Reaper in her street clothes, sitting to the left of them with her paddle by her side. "When did you get here?" Keiko asked.

"Just now," answered Botan. "I'd think," she fixed Yusuke with a steely glare, "that you'd invite your trusted partner to a wonderful occasion like this!"

Yusuke grinned wickedly. "I'm surprised at you, Botan, this is a date with Keiko here!"

"Yusuke!" Botan groused. "This is a case, not a date! We're supposed to be figuring out how all of these demons managed to get past the border patrols of Demon World!"

"I'm not a Spirit Detective anymore, remember?" Yusuke put both hands behind his head and leaned back. "I don't have to take orders from the toddler anymore."

Botan looked at Kuwabara, but he forestalled her, saying, "Botan, half the people here are humans anyway. We'd have a really hard time keeping all of them safe."

Shizuru added, "Besides, it'd be difficult figuring which are the bad demons and which are the good demons."

It was at this juncture that Kiyoshi Mitarai reached their aisle. Kuwabara jumped up and greeted him. He had been known as "Sea Man" in the villanous Seven Psychics group, but had been reformed thanks to Kuwabara's help. Tsukihito Amanuma, "Game Master," shyly and grudgingly greeted Botan, the closest person to the Spirit World, which had resurrected him. Kurama knew he and Amanuma weren't quite ready to face each other yet- he had given Amanuma the fatal blow.

"Yes, I passed that history final, though I had to study for a long time," Mitarai replied to a question Kuwabara had asked. "You said you'd have an exam today- how'd you do?"

Kuwabara grinned, "I got a ten!" Mitarari winced and Shizuru frowned at the low score, and Yukina felt embarrassed. Kuwabara then added, "Out of ten!" Mitarai laughed in relief, "Don't scare us like that!" Kuwabara put his hands on his hips and laughed happily at their reactions.

Shinobu Sensui stood behind Yusuke Urameshi's chair. "It's odd, isn't it?," he mused aloud. "You took the place I vacated, then you were thrown out of it by our employers. Now there is no Spirit Detective."

"Yeah," Yusuke said unconcernedly. "Does seem a pity. But then, this new treaty with Demon World seems to be holding up fine. I'm not complaining."

The two didn't really have anything more to say.

* * *

A man used his third eye to gaze at Yukina, though his body was far from her. Certain she was still safe, he returned to the last task of the day.

* * *

The house lights dimmed, and everyone began to return to their seats. It was finally time for the concert to begin. The Band of Seven, the opening act, began to assume their places on stage. Bankotsu walked to center stage and took a microphone off a stand.

"We'd like to thank our enigmatic sponsor for resurrecting many of us from the dead!" Bankotsu announced.

"Not at all," a mysterious man in a baboon costume said affably. He remained upwind of the air conditioning vents so that Inuyasha could not catch his scent.

"I sense a strong demonic aura," Miroku said. "It's coming steadily nearer," Sango agreed, holding Hiraikotsu at the ready.

"You're probably referring to me," Hiei said grimly as he sauntered past the row that Sango and Miroku were sitting in.

"Hiei, you're late!" Yusuke complained.

"Some pathetic fool wandered into Demon World, and I had to round him up."

He was welcomed enthusiastically into Yusuke's row.

Miaka wondered where her older brother Keisuke, her friend Yui, and Suboshi of the Seiryu Seven, were now. They were all going to come to the theater together, but where were they?

Nakago had the same concerns, so he whipsered to Amiboshi, "Your brother and Lady Yui are taking too long. We need to find out where they are. You have a way of communicating with them." Amiboshi stared at him. He didn't care for the Nakago's manner, but was curious about what his meaning. "Your bodies are specially linked," Nakago continued, "and any mark you make on your body appears on his. Cut yourself in the pattern of letters and your brother will be able to read the message."

Kuwabara was feeling bored and looking around, when he suddenly wailed, "What is that guy doing! Eww!" Keiko looked where he was looking and put a hand over her face. Kuwabara said, "Sorry, Keiko. Yukina, Sis, don't look, you don't wanna see." Yusuke craned his neck to observe what Kuwabara was seeing, and noticed that Amiboshi was cutting his own arm.

Kagome rushed over to the young man. "Bloodletting doesn't cure you of anything! Let me use my first aid kit on you."

"What are you talking about?" Amiboshi said in confusion. "I'm just text messaging my brother!" The cuts on his arm did somewhat resemble Chinese characters.

Looking at him oddly, Kagome took out a bandage. "No, wait," Amiboshi insisted, "I need to read his reply!" His skin began to change and new characters appeared as his brother similarly marked himself.

"Yusuke," Keiko said determinedly, "next time let's just go to a movie."

* * *

Next Chapter:

"Is this cacophony really considered music?"

"There exists a food that even Miaka won't eat?"

"Where's Hiei?"


	3. Chapter 3

Inuyasha demanded, "Kagome, just sit down already. He can tattoo an epic on himself for all I care."

"Yes, sit down, woman," Bankotsu agreed from on stage, pointing Banryu at her.

"Inuyasha, why don't you sit," Kagome shot back, and her words of power forced Inuyasha's necklace, then himself, to the ground. Inuyasha let out a yelp. Keiko watched this occur with surprise.

Meanwhile, Tasuki leapt to his feet and shouted at Bankotsu, "How dare you point a weapon at a woman!"

Soi rolled her eyes. "Hypocrite, you killed me with a sword."

Tasuki turned towards her and contested, "You got in the way! I was aiming at Nakago!"

"Most people are grateful for my first aid from the future," Kagome groused as she reseated herself.

Amiboshi held his hand out and told her, "I'm grateful-"

"Never mind," Kagome grumbled as she plummeted into her seat with a dark look at Inuyasha.

"Bankotsu thinks he's so great with that huge weapon," Shizuru said to Botan. "Bui's battle axe was much bigger."

"Bui himself was three times his size, and more devoted to self-improvement," agreed Botan.

Bankotsu overheard them. "Bui must've been a weakling to need a weapon that big. I've got a good weapon because of its special ability. My weapon gains power each time I kill something with it. This is my halberd Banryu. It's killed a thousand demons and a thousand humans," Bankotsu boasted.

"Shishiwakamaru and Bankotsu might get on well," Kurama reckoned. "Both their weapons utilize the dead."

Tamahome recalled suspiciously, "He only said he'd killed a hundred demons and a hundred humans before."

Bankotsu decided to press on regardless. "First, we'll do a group number." The entire Band of Seven proceeded to do a song with a tolerable verse structure and a good hook, but disturbing lyrics about slaying vast numbers of humans. Chiriko gritted his teeth and endured it as best he could.

The special effects were amazing- Ginkotsu and Renkotsu launched vast numbers of fireworks, although a good deal of them exploded suspiciously close to Inuyasha's group.

Suikotsu walked to center stage when that song had concluded, accompanied by a cluster of children. "I'd like to lead my orphans in a moving rendition of 'Pure Has Become Impure,'" Suikotsu announced into the microphone.

"Those children seem frightened of him," Yukina commented concernedly.

"Oh, I hope Kikyo will be here in case he goes bad again!" one of the children whispered to the other. Suikotsu began the song, and the children joined in with only a slight tinge of fear in their voices.

"That song's a pack of lies," Kuwabara grumbled. "Real men stay pure. They don't switch from good to bad. They certainly don't say good and bad are the same thing."

Miaka wasn't really listening to the song: she was whispering in Tamahome's ear, "They're so cute! I want to have kids just like them!"

"They are very cute," Tamahome agreed. His response had a suggestion of uneasiness caused by the fear the children were evincing.

The children eagerly left after the song was done- in fact, so eagerly that Suikotsu wasn't able to catch up to them, and they fled off the stage exit.

Sango noted Kagome's worried look and told her, "I think they'll be all right. At least the children have each other."

Suikotsu shrugged and returned to the stage. Ginkotsu now rolled his large, armored cyborg body to center stage.

"I think this guy's going to do a heavy metal song," Yusuke wisecracked.

"Grrsh," Ginkotsu retorted.

"We all know you can say many more words than that," Shippo exclaimed, annoyed.

"Brat! Do you think I'd say it so much if I didn't like saying it? Grrsh!" Ginkotsu shot back. He and Renkotsu and Kyokotsu the giant then proceeded to play what was, indeed, a heavy metal song.

Chiriko could finally take this no longer. He asked the world in general, "Is this cacophony really considered music?"

Mukotsu got up to do his special effects for the song, throwing a miasma of poison out of the jars on his back.

"A miasma!" Miroku exclaimed. Sango put on her mask while everyone else tried to cover their faces with their clothes. Yusuke, Nakago, and Sensui readied themselves to attack the stage with bolts of energy, while Sniper of the Psycho Psychics prepared to accelerate a die at high speed, targeting Mukotsu.

Miroku shouted urgently, "Everyone brace yourselves! Sango, you have to release my Wind Tunnel!"

"Right!" Sango agreed as she removed the beads from around Miroku's wrist.

"It'd be easier if you untied me," Miroku suggested softly.

"Nothing doing, Miroku," she declared as she removed the string of beads from around Miroku's right hand. As soon as she did so, there was a great rushing noise, and everything around them began to be drawn into Miroku's right palm. Everyone in the theater took firm hold of something as they felt their bodies being pulled into the abyss. Old candy wrappers, leftover popcorn, ticket stubs, guitar picks, and the air itself, along with the poison, was drawn into Miroku's hand. He convulsed as the poison began to enter his bloodstream and tormented him.

"The poison's gotten into him!" Shippo shrieked.

Sango quickly put the beads back around his palm, and the Wind Tunnel was sealed again. "Miroku, can you hear us?" she asked urgently.

Inuyasha leapt in front of Miroku and snarled at the stage. The Band of Seven threw down smoke grenades to obscure themselves.

Kagome looked worriedly through her first aid kit. "I don't have an antidote for whatever that was," she said in alarm.

Mitsukake suddenly appeared beside her. "Don't worry," he told them all as he extended his own palm towards Miroku. Inuyasha watched him carefully, determined to not allow him to hurt Miroku. A glowing Chinese character appeared on Mitsukake's palm, and Miroku regained his color and stopped convulsing.

"The poison's left him!" Shippo exclaimed.

"I thank you," Miroku steepled his hands as best he could and bowed in his seat. "I don't believe I would've survived such a massive ingestion of stale popcorn without your timely assistance."

"It was the popcorn that poisoned him?" Doctor of the Psycho Psychics was incredulous.

Hotohori blanched and asked, "Miaka, are the gooey patches on the floor we've been stepping on this 'stale popcorn' he speaks of?"

"Yes," Miaka agreed, feeling ill herself.

"There exists a food that even Miaka won't eat?" Tomo asked incredulously.

"Get a face!" Tamahome insulted Tomo in return.

Yukina looked around and asked, "Where's Hiei?"

Smoke cleared off the stage, and the form of Hiei could now be made out there. He was standing behind Mukotsu, brandishing his katana. Mukotsu was trembling. Hiei explained, "I figured the toddler wouldn't mind if I killed a human who was already dead. But this person assures me that won't be necessary."

As the smoke fully cleared from the theater, "this person" became visible. She was standing to Hiei's right, looking calm and collected. This woman was short for a human, but still overtopped Hiei's upswept hair. The woman's own long hair had been hoaried by time. She was dressed like a martial artist, and her hands were clasped authoritatively behind her back. When she spoke, her voice was cracked with age. "Yes, Mukotsu," the woman proclaimed, "having broken the truce, you must now pay a fee."

Yusuke nearly fell out of his chair, and Kuwabara boggled at the stage. Even Kurama seemed slightly surprised. Yusuke gasped, "Grandma?"

* * *

Next Chapter:

"These special effects are just as amazing as you told us, Miaka!"

"I've got six other personalities that could count as members of the band."

"Kikyo Rolls! Get your Honey-Glazed Kikyo Rolls!


	4. Chapter 4

"Show some respect for your mentor!" the old woman harangued Yusuke.

"Master Genkai," Botan said, full of respect and astonishment, "we never knew you owned a theater."

"It was part of my attempt to bring humans and demons closer together," Genkai explained. "Unfortunately, I've been letting my agent do all the booking, and as a result, we got this gang of thugs."

"We're highly skilled mercenaries!" Jakotsu protested.

"Yes, thugs," Genkai nodded. "As for you," she turned to Mukotsu, "your fine is to hop like a frog for five minutes on stage."

"That's not enough of a punishment!" Inuyasha complained. Genkai ignored him.

Mukotsu insisted, "It was a special effect!"

"A special effect that almost killed the audience! Now hop like a frog already," Genkai insisted.

"I refuse-" Mukotsu began to say, reaching for one of his jars. Before he could, Genkai had run behind him and kicked him to the ground. "If you won't hop like a frog, you'll get a lot worse than that from all of us." Genkai pronounced.

Bankotsu started forward, and Jakotsu flicked his Serpent Sword towards Genkai. Hiei barely managed to bat it out of Genkai's path. Ginkotsu and Renkotsu aimed at Hiei. Suikotsu advanced on Genkai while Kyokotsu lifted his foot to crush the audience. Yusuke aimed his Spirit Gun while Kurama got out his Rose Whip and Kuwabara his Spirit Sword. Inuyasha cracked his knuckles.

Suddenly, every member of the Band of Seven collapsed to the floor, decayed to skeletons, and then vanished.

From a shadowy alcove, unseen by Inuyasha's row, the man in the baboon costume collected the Band's Jewel Shards from several flying insects. "They've already failed to kill Inuyasha," the man murmured, "they couldn't possibly defeat everyone in this theater." He vanished with a chuckle, and the insects flew away.

"Wow," Tasuki stated. "These special effects are just as amazing as you told us, Miaka!"

"I dunno that those were special effects, you know," Chichiri thought aloud.

"Oh great, there go our Jewel Shards," Inuyasha grumbled. Sango grimly agreed, "The insects left too fast for us to follow. I suppose we're unsuccessful."

Genkai bowed to the audience. "Sorry about that, everyone. Let's have an intermission. Please visit our concession stand just outside the doors."

"Who could possibly feel hungry after seeing that?" Botan wondered aloud.

"Ooh, ooh, can we please get some snacks!" Miaka jumped up.

She appeared to be the only one who wanted to eat, and she skipped down the aisle and out the doors before most people quite registered what she had said. A few minutes later, the doors opened again and a man bearing a large tray of food appeared.

"Kikyo Rolls! Get your Honey-Glazed Kikyo Rolls!" the man called.

"Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked urgently. He leapt out of his seat and towards the voice.

"Inuyasha," Kagome said in a sad, hurt, and winsome way.

* * *

Genkai and Yusuke's group caught up on what had been happening lately.

Ashitare, growing restless, decided to investigate the Seven Psycho Psychics. Sniper watched his approach idly, ready to fire on him if he made a hostile move. Itsuki was attempting to learn how to play an instrument in the short time before their performance. He was not pleased with the results and was considering getting Ura-Otoko, a giant demon who lived in the earth, to do a solo in his place, if he could teach it to sing.

"There aren't seven of you," Ashitare growled at Sensui.

"Our seventh member, Gourmet, was assimilated a long time ago by the elder Toguro," Sensui enlightened him cooly, "and we didn't particularly want to free the elder Toguro from his imprisonment in the Sinning Tree."

Ashitare accused, "This is a concert for bands of seven. You're not allowed to play."

"We'll do just fine with six," Sensui assured him. "If it comes to it, I've got six other personalities that could count as members of the band."

Doctor walked over to him. "Excuse me. I was hoping to talk with Sensui about arranging the charity concert for House of Miracle Hands." It was a charity Doctor had founded after his own reformation.

Sensui nodded, "Of course," and proceeded to discuss details with him, turning his head from Ashitare.

In the blink of an eye, Ashitare had bitten deeply into Doctor's shoulder. He released the bite, shoved Doctor into the next row, and howled, "Never turn your back on the Seiryu Seven!"

Doctor calmly picked himself up, without any exclamations of pain or flinches of discomfort, using his powers to prevent any sensation of pain. "Do you know how long I'm going to have to operate on myself to fix that?"

"A long time," sneered Ashitare.

Doctor looked at Ashitare, nonplussed. "No time," he corrected him.

Game Master, distracted from a quick handheld videogame by the disturbance, pointed out, "That bite didn't even break the skin. You could say he's got all of his hit points!"

"Leave us, impertinent boy, or I'll rip out your throat," Ashitare snarled.

"He was saying that you didn't hurt him," Sniper translated. "That's a good thing, or else I'd have killed you," he tossed a pair of dice in the air.

Genkai wandered over and said sternly, "Ashitare, you broke the truce, and in a rather stupid way, biting him with your human teeth rather than shifting into your wolf form. I think you're in need of serious character reform, so your penalty is to get on all fours and act like a cute puppy for ten minutes."

"I will do no such-" Ashitare began, then noticed Nakago's eyes on him from across the room. With an growl, he got down on all fours, and morphed into a cute puppy and yipped cutely. "Good," Genkai smiled. "Only nine and a half more minutes. See if you can impress some of the ladies in the audience with your nice, new nature."

Ashitare bounded away, glad to escape from the stares of the Psycho Psychics, and ran up to Yusuke's row.

"Thanks a lot, Genkai," Keiko muttered. Botan said hesitantly, "Er, uh, nice, doggy," but kept her distance- she preferred not to get involved when Genkai was disciplining someone. Ashitare wanted to scream, but instead made a cute puppy's bark. It was better than getting Nakago and the old woman mad at him.

"He's so cute as a puppy!" Yukina gushed, petting his long gray hair. Kuwabara joked, "He has long grey hair. Kinda like you when you transform, Yusuke!"

Ashitare reflected that at least one person here had accepted him, and he had endured much worse humiliation at Nakago's hands. He panted and looked at Shizuru with sad puppy eyes, since she didn't seem to have reacted one way or the other to him yet.

"I'm not touching him," Shizuru said firmly. Ashitare howled sadly.

"Awww, poor little puppy," Yukina hugged him around the neck. "Can we keep him?"

"No," said Hiei, Shizuru, Kuwabara, Keiko, and Yusuke together.

* * *

"I certainly hope you found Kikyo, because you've really hurt Kagome this time," Shippo told Inuyasha disgustedly.

Inuyasha sighed. "It wasn't Kikyo, just some rolls that look vaguely like her." He started to eat one.

Shippo stared at him. "What are you staring at?" Inuyasha demanded defensively. "I was hungry."

"Could I please have some of the roll?" Shippo asked ravenously.

"Get one of your own! The vendor's standing right over there!" Inuyasha gestured over his shoulder.

"Waah!" Shippo cried. "Kagome, he's not shar-"

"Inuyasha, sit," Kagome said quietly and with the force of her simmering anger. Inuyasha cried out in alarm as he crashed to the floor. Shippo managed to snag part of the Kikyo roll (Kikyo's arm and bow) from Inuyasha's outstretched arm.

Keiko stared at their row again. She was sure now that Kagome could use the word "sit" to force Inuyasha's necklace to the ground.

* * *

"Everything, from the tickets to the food, is so expensive at this concert hall," marveled Tamahome.

"The food is definitely worth the expense," Miaka told him during a mouthful of Kikyo Roll.

"All right, intermission's up," Genkai commanded. "Next act, Suzaku Seven, you're up."

"But Yui and Keisuke aren't here," Miaka balked, nearly forgetting to take another bite of roll.

"The world is still turning," Genkai said offhandedly.

"Hey, we just need a few minutes," Tamahome complained.

"Tamahome," Chichiri whispered, "I imagine her temperament is like Taiitsukun. Anger won't help here."

"I suppose you recommend groveling like everyone else?" Tamahome grumbled.

"I wouldn't say no to some well-placed groveling," Genkai agreed. "Dimwit, you should learn from Chichiri."

"Tamahome isn't-" Miaka began. Yusuke put in, "She was calling me a dimwit. It's a bonding thing between us." "No," Genkai dissented, "it's an accurate description of how your attitude depresses your abilities."

Yui, Keisuke, Tetsuya, and Suboshi finally walked in.

"Yui! Keisuke! Tetsuya!" Miaka shouted happily.

Nuriko was in the middle of yelling at them, "Where have you been!" when he noticed that their foursome was in the middle of a fearsome quarrel.

"All I'm saying is that next time we go on a subway, ask us for your ticket instead of insisting on 'privileged transport for the Seiryu Seven'!" Tetsuya snapped. He had come, since he was Keisuke's friend, but was obviously wishing he'd made his own plans for the evening.

"They made Lady Yui stand up on their abomination of a carriage! A woman forced to stand on a thing that creaks and sways like a ship at sea!" Suboshi retorted vehemently. He was obviously an identical twin to Amiboshi, and accentuated the effect by sporting a duplicate blue headband.

"Suboshi," Yui had evidently tried to explain this to him many times before, "they're always that crowded. Many women were standing up. It wasn't an insult to any of us."

Keisuke looked extremely put out, which was surprising for this relatively calm man. He vociferated, "Suboshi, when we leave the concert, just stay close to us and stop going on your own. The next time you run off the train, we might not be able to catch up to you. You would've been lost at the station-"

"We're arrived at the concert hall, and I protected Lady Yui! I'm an adult! Stop treating me like a child!" Suboshi vented his anger on them.

Yui collapsed into a seat behind Miaka. "Miaka, it's good to see you," she groaned softly.

"Lady Yui," Nakago began, "it's-" he paused a moment as Soi tightened her grip on his arm and stared at Yui, "-good to see you are well," he finished in his levelest voice.

Inuyasha crossed his arms and frowned. Kagome yawned while Sango checked Hiraikotsu's edge for the tenth time. Shippo had been playing with his top for the past few minutes, while Kilala watched him. Miroku was trying not to think about the itch on his neck.

"What happened?" Tamahome whispered to Keisuke.

Keisuke sighed, "Suboshi complained about Yui's accomodations when we were in the subway car, then caused a panic when he started mutilating himself, so of course he bails out at the next station-"

"I apologize," Amiboshi said sheepishly. "I was just worried about all of you."

"It's okay," Keisuke sighed again, and sank into his seat, Tetsuya taking a seat behind him. Suboshi sat down beside Yui, and asked solicitously, "Are you comfortable, Lady Yui?"

"Yes! I'm fine!" she said a little too quickly and loudly. "I'm totally fine, there's nothing wrong!" Suboshi sat back bewildered.

Inuyasha began tapping his foot. Kagome frowned at him; that meant it wouldn't be too long before he gave in to his impatience and said something rude. He abruptly asked a rhetorical question, "Why are we still here? Without the shards from the Band of Seven, there's no point to staying any longer. We need to get a move on and find more Jewel Shards before Naraku does."

Kagome almost wanted to argue with him out of habit when he used that irritating tone of voice, but he did have a point. A quick survey of Inuyasha's friends indicated that none of them had pressing reasons to stay, and were staring at each other almost hoping that they might leave soon.

From about four rows ahead, Kurama murmured. "He said Naraku. Interesting. Hiei, are you familiar with the legend about Naraku?"

One of Inuyasha's dog ears, the one nearest Kurama, twitched. "Do you know something about Naraku?" he called out to Kurama.

Kurama turned around to face him. "I do," he affirmed mysteriously. His eyes flicked back to the stage, where the Suzaku Seven were setting up what they needed, then added, "Why don't I tell you more about it after their number?"

* * *

Next Chapter: 

"Please, step on my hands."

"It's cutting through my magic!"

"He's the pint-sized ruler of Spirit World."

"I'm not touching you!"


	5. Chapter 5

"Why don't you just tell me what you know about Naraku right now?" said Inuyasha to Kurama with a surly glance.

"Inuyasha," Kagome growled, and he subsided quickly, not wanting to endure another sit. He hadn't quite recovered from the last one. This did not go unnoticed by Keiko.

In the meantime, the Suzaku Seven was getting ready for their next act. To the surprise of the audience, many of the band's members disappeared offstage, along with Amiboshi. In the meantime, Hotohori stood center stage and began to sing, "YES - Koko ni Eien ga Aru" to warm up the crowd. Much of the crowd did indeed appear warmed by the song.

"He's just as handsome as Sakyo," Shizuru thought to herself. "I sure hope he's not evil too."

"Come on, Your Majesty," Nuriko demanded as he reappeared from offstage, in an more formal outfit than he had worn before, "leave some girls for the rest of us."

Hotohori tossed his long, luxurious hair as he declared, "Very well, Nuriko. I leave them in your hands." He walked off, towards the backstage area where the other band members had gone some time before.

"More accurately," Nuriko corrected him as he strode forward to the center of the stage, "you're leaving these pieces of scrap metal in my hands." Nuriko picked up the metal pieces and announced, "First, I need a volunteer from the audience." Behind him, the curtain closed, concealing most of the stage.

"I would be honored to-" Miroku began. Sango forestalled him with a stormy countenance, and he finished his statement, "-watch your performance from here." Nuriko stared at him, or more accurately at the ropes binding him to the chair. Not wanting to have another awkward scene, Sango hurriedly stood up and volunteered, walking briskly to the stage.

Nuriko handed the metal pieces to her. "Now, would you please try to bend these in half?"

"What sort of madness is this?" Sango asked. The metal pieces were stout bits of iron. When Nuriko only grinned, she took the piece of metal from his hands. As she had expected, not even the strength of a Demon Slayer could manage to buckle the iron. Nuriko insisted upon her testing the other two pieces as well, and she had similar results.

Nuriko now took the first metal piece back and said, "This metal shouldn't be able to be bent by any human, right? Watch this!" He compressed the metal, and it bent into a U shape.

Sango said quietly, "Incredible." Shippo wondered, "Is he some kind of demon?" Kuwabara enthused, "Yeah! I love strongman acts! Wow, I wonder if the phonebook trick is next?"

Nuriko bent the other two metal pieces at the same time, creating a large U shape. Next, he turned to Sango again and asked, "I notice you have a rather large boomerang, miss. May I please use it?"

"No," Sango said firmly.

Nuriko was surprised. "Why not?" he asked.

"It's nothing personal," she explained, "I don't often let anyone else touch Hiraikotsu."

"Well, then, er, oh!" Nuriko had a sudden idea. He offered his hands and said, "Please, step on my hands."

"If you insist," she sighed, stepping on with both feet. Nuriko smoothly lifted her above his head. The audience burst out into applause.

As the applaused died down, Kurama put his index finger to his chin in thought. Kuwabara looked at him and asked, "What're you thinking, Kurama?"

"Nuriko, Hotohori, Tamahome," Kurama recited. "The names sounded familiar, but only now could I place them. They're Chinese constellations, in the southern region of the sky. Or, in the traditional way of speaking, they're ruled by Suzaku."

"Suzaku, eh!" Shippo mouthed; he had only bad memories of that bizarre demon he and Inuyasha and the others had encountered. Kirara made a high-pitched noise of disapproval at the name.

"The creep who mind controlled all the teachers and made them attack us?" Keiko asked with anger at the memory.

"These are humans," Hiei disagreed. "The Suzaku of Maze Castle despised humans. These couldn't be his servants."

"Perhaps they're associated with the legendary Suzaku," Kurama thought aloud.

"Hey, if that's so, you can use your knowledge of the legend to predict their personalities and powers, right?" Kuwabara asked excitedly.

"Unfortunately, I don't actually know the legend," Kurama admitted calmly. "We'd need to call Kaitou, he's more likely to have read up on it."

"Oh," said Kuwabara disappointedly.

"There's something you don't know, Kurama?" Yusuke joked.

"Maybe that means there's some sort of conspiracy to keep it a secret," Botan suggested in a dramatic voice.

"Probably it was just because I've been too busy researching the literature on the germination of genetically modified plants," Kurama said mildly.

"Everyone, please give Sango a hand!" Nuriko called as Sango left the stage. There was enthusiastic applause. Chiriko walked onto the stage, and called out, "Please show your appreciation for the remarkable strength of Nuriko!" The audience applauded, Nuriko bowed, then he disappeared behind the curtain.

Chiriko cleared his throat, turned to the audience, and recited in a singsong voice, "Ladies and gentlemen, I now invite you to come with me to a faraway land. The brave warriors of Suzaku have come to aid the land of Konan in its time of need. Swearing to use their powers to protect their emperor Hotohori and the priestess Miaka, they are now joined together in a ceremony to summon the awesome power of Suzaku to bless the land. Arise, Suzaku! Your warriors are betrayed!"

The curtains rolled back as suddenly as Chiriko left the stage, revealing a magnificent set. There were massive stone pillars, and beautiful blue panels, creating an almost perfect illusion of seeing inside a richly adorned temple. A giant golden image of a phoenix rested beside the wall on stage right, or to the left side as the audience saw it. A short distance towards the center of the stage was a brazier mounted on a ziggurat as tall as a human. Surrounding the ziggurat were the Hotohori, Nuriko, Chichiri, Tasuki, Mitsukake, Tamahome, and Amiboshi, all clad in their finest crimson garments. Miaka was stood upon one of the ziggurat's higher steps, clad in a priestess' garment, dyed crimson. Her hair was elaborately curled around decorative wooden sticks. In both hands she held a scroll.

She chanted the ritual words to summon Suzaku and ask him to grant their desires. The seven below closed their eyes and concentrated upon Miaka and the ceremony. Then she took the scroll and tossed it into the flames with both hands, then clasped her hands together and closed her eyes.

The scroll continued to burn.

Opening her eyes, Miaka asked in confusion, "What's wrong? We did the ceremony correctly! Where is Suazku?"

Amiboshi stood up and backed away from the seven by several places, removing his flute from his vestments. In the audience, the older couple that Chichiri had brought smiled broadly and held up a huge sign that read in Chinese, "Go Kai-ka!"

Amiboshi spoke in a loud and mocking voice, "Your ceremony has failed."

The others on stage looked at him in shock as he continued, "My true name is Amiboshi of the Seiryu Seven! Now I will destroy you all with the power of Seiryu in my flute!"

He set off on a brilliant series of flute music, which caused the Suzaku Seven and Miaka to collapse writhing onto the stage. His playing continued, and their suffering was unrelieved.

Just when all hope seemed lost, there was the sound of a leaf whistle. Chiriko walked slowly onto the stage, playing the leaf whistle. Amiboshi gasped and said, "That whistle! It's cutting through my magic!"

He gasped again as Tamahome and Tasuki jumped up from the ground, freed from the spell, and advanced threateningly on him. They ran forwards when suddenly a figure from the audience leapt onto the stage.

Suboshi stood in front of his brother Amiboshi, taking a defensive stance against the Suzaku Seven. There was a wild look in his eyes, and his Meteor Balls bobbed and floated in the air beside him, and whirred menacingly. To some they appeared to be simple ornamentation, but the Suzaku Seven knew they were lethal weapons.

"Don't you touch him!" Suboshi shouted.

"Huh?" Tasuki finally managed to say, totally bemused.

"You won't harm a hair on my brother's head!" Suboshi said frantically.

"This already happened!" Tamahome said in disbelief. "You know it better than anyone!"

"Suboshi, they're just following the script," Amiboshi tried to reassure him. "I'm going to be fine. Just take your seat again-"

"I couldn't save you from them last time because I was in Koutou, but I'll save you this time!" he said, turning madly devoted eyes upon his brother.

"This is only a reenactment, a play," Chiriko tried to explain gently.

"Sure is a mysterious play," Inuyasha muttered, confused by recent events.

Miaka appealed, "Suboshi, this has already happened! We're not going to hurt your brother; we asked him to play this part!"

"And I agreed," Amiboshi supported her. "Suboshi, this doesn't bother me at all. Thanks to your erasing my memory, I don't even remember what it was like the first time, so this isn't hurting my feelings. Please, just sit down again."

"I can't let you die again!" Suboshi wailed.

Tamahome began to lose patience, and threatened, "Suboshi, do you know what else has already happened? I've already beaten you, that's what's already happened! I say we skip ahead to that part of the story!"

Yui stood up, her fists clenched, and said sternly, "Suboshi, this is a major embarrassment. Don't make me order you to get off that stage."

"Lady Yui," he turned to her, surprised and mortified. Slowly he hung his head, and the Meteor Balls returned to his belt. He crept offstage and into his seat.

"He's lost whatever sanity he had left," Tasuki said in wonderment.

"Suboshi isn't crazy, he's a passionate but evil man," Kuwabara shook his head.

Kiyoshi Mitarai kept watching the Seiryu Seven's row. He noted, "It's as though none of the others on Suboshi's team cared one way or the other through that whole business."

"Kinda sad," Amanuma agreed.

The play resumed where it had left off, with Tamahome and Tasuki chasing Amiboshi offstage. The curtains closed, and there was polite applause.

Suboshi moodily left his seat and went out the exit.

"I hope this means we don't have to take him with us when we leave," Keisuke muttered fervently.

Tetsuya muttered, "Don't be too relieved yet. Who knows what that murderer will do now?"

Keisuke looked at him in alarm, "He might try to hunt down our families!"

Yui stood, saying "I'll make Suboshi come back."

Genkai suddenly appeared at her elbow. "Don't worry about him. I put in a special request. Koenma's placing him back in his correct location in space-time."

Yui sat down and breathed, "What a relief. I don't think I could take much more of him." She had no idea who Koenma was, but was too tired to really worry about it at this point.

"So," Tetsuya curiously and suspiciously asked Genkai, "you're the priestess of Koenma?"

"As if!" Genkai emphatically denied it. "He's the pint-sized ruler of Spirit World. I just spent the past half hour trying to get through the Spirit World bureaucracy, trying to get all of the thugs back where they belong. I finally got through to Koenma, and he gave me his assurance that he'll take care of it. He's young, but dependable." Genkai walked briskly away.

Tetsuya and Keisuke looked at each other. Keisuke shrugged, and Tetsuya sighed but decided to accept the situation.

As Mitarai had observed, the others of the Seiryu Seven seemed indifferent to their teammate's fate. A malicious grin was spread across the child like face of Miboshi as he waved his wooden needle a few inches from Tomo's ear, whispering, "I'm not touching you!"

"No, you aren't," Tomo rolled his eyes. "What other idiotic children's games did you pick up from this modern age?"

The curtains reopened, and Miaka and Tamahome reappeared. Keisuke, Tetsuya, and Yui, smiled broadly, and all of the audience applauded politely.

"I appreciate it," Tamahome waved at the crowd, "but if you really want to make us happy, then please write out a check to Tama-" he grunted in discomfort as Miaka tweaked his ear. The crowd laughed.

Finally getting somewhat serious, Tamahome made sure that the sound equipment was set up correctly, then sat down at a synthesizer. Miaka performed a solo- "Itooshi Hito no Tame ni" . Since the crowd's interest was now piqued, she smiled and waved at the audience, enthusing, "Oh, thank you all so very much! This next song is one of my favorites, and I'm dedicating it," she looked coyly at Tamahome behind her, "to my beloved." He smiled winningly back at her.

"That is so sweet!" Yukina grinned.

"She's a lucky girl," Shizuru agreed.

Keiko leaned towards Yusuke.

"I wish I brought my girlfriend," Mitarai mused.

"I wish I had a girlfriend," Amanuma said in a small voice.

Kagome clasped her hands below her chin and daydreamed a moment.

Genkai was unusually quiet. Was she perhaps thinking of a time long ago when she and Toguro had-

"I'd discontinue that third-person omniscient narration if I were you," Genkai advised Dragonwiles in a steely voice.

Nakago tried flexing his fingers. Soi's arm around his looked ordinarily amorous, but for some reason her grip was also cutting off his circulation. He then remembered that, being dead, he had no circulation, and stopped worrying.

Inuyasha gnarred, "Are we gonna hear about Naraku soon?"

Tamahome, skillfully employing the synthesizer keyboard, laid out the initial verse as a prelude, and Miaka then began to sing "Toukimeki no Doukasen." The crowd applauded wildly.

The entire Suzaku Seven came out and bowed. People began to wave things, asking for an encore, and the band finally acquiesced and played "Chijou no Seiza" to great acclaim. After that, they took their bows and left the stage.

"Finally! Now we can learn about Naraku," Inuyasha cracked a smile.

Kurama stood up, turned to face him, and frowned. "I'm afraid I don't know very much to tell you. I've only heard a legend that about seven centuries ago, there was a half-demon named Naraku who made a nuisance of himself in Human World. A fox-demon, a cat-demon, a monk, a demon slayer, a priestess, and a half-demon went on a quest to fight him. The half-demon was the son of Inutaisho. Inutaisho was the great lord of the West, who was related to Raizen."

"You don't say," Yusuke commented, finding a personal interest in the story.

Kagome put a hand to her forehead and thought, "For seven hundred years, demons are going to mistake me for Kikyo in their stories? This is terrible!"

"That is a fascinating tale," Miroku commented thoughtfully. "Do you happen to recall who prevailed in the battle?"

Kurama shrugged and said apologetically, "I'm afraid I never heard the end of the legend, or indeed, the middle of it. I'm sorry I can't be of any further help."

Inuyasha scoffed, "What a waste of time. Let's go."

Hiei disappeared and suddenly reappeared in front of Inuyasha, blocking their exit from the row of seats with his drawn sword. "Hold," Hiei commanded. "I still have business with you. You are in violation of the laws of Demon World."

* * *

Next Chapter:

"But he's got dog ears!"

"Ninja food!"

"I suppose we were too beautiful an emperor to remain dead."


	6. Chapter 6

Hiei's sword remained pointed at Inuyasha as he reminded everyone present, "King Enki laid down the law. Demons are no longer allowed to pass from Demon World to Human World, unless they have prior authorization like me. Clearly these fools," he glared at Inuyasha's group, "are in violation of that law."

Inuyasha drew Tetsuaiga and said belligerently, "If you have a problem with me-"

"Put away your fang," Hiei said disinterestedly. "You're not the one in violation of the law."

The entire audience shouted, "Huh?"

Well, maybe not all of it. But enough of it did to count.

"What do you mean?" Miroku asked, as startled as everyone else.

"Half demons are exempt from King Enki's edict," Hiei explained. "The cat-demon and fox-demon are the ones in violation."

"But he's got dog ears!" Tasuki pointed at Inuyasha. "Why is he not a demon?"

"You've got wolf fangs," Ashitare pointed at Tasuki.

"And you turn into a wolf," Nuriko pointed at Ashitare.

"Finger pointing won't get us anywhere, you know?" Chichiri pointed out.

Shippo hid behind Kagome's legs, while Kilala turned into her giant cat form.

"Um, wow, I'm glad Eikichi doesn't go through growth spurts like that," Kuwabara murmured.

Shizuru clonked him on top of the head and reminded him, "Eikichi is a normal cat, not a cat-demon!"

"I know! I'm just sayin'!" Kuwabara argued.

"I think there are more important issues here," Kurama noted, "such as the concept of ex post facto."

"No spells out of you," Kagome demanded, notching an arrow and aiming it at Kurama.

He explained smoothly, "It's Latin for 'something done after.' I gather that the six of you are the group from the legend."

"We are probably the persons upon whom the legend was based," Miroku said guardedly.

"The law was only passed within the last few years," Kurama elaborated on his idea. "Since you are from seven centuries ago, before the law was passed, ex post facto means that you cannot be charged with a crime."

"That's a relief," Kagome said thankfully, lowering her bow.

"But they crossed time and the barrier, to a time when the law had been passed," Hiei said pointedly, holding his katana at the ready. "The law therefore still applies."

"Out of order!" Yusuke banged his fist on his armrest with a malicious grin. "The pointy-haired prosecution won't step on the kitsune defense lawyer's statements."

"A demarcation between the human and demon worlds," Sango said to herself.

Miroku nodded. "That is the central issue. There is no demarcation in our time. The human and demon worlds coincide. Therefore, it could be said just as easily that we crossed from Human World at one point in time to Human World at another point in time."

Kagome smirked at Hiei and said primly, "The defense rests."

"I think the defense should wait for his inevitable reply," Kurama cautioned.

"Hnh. A likely story," Hiei said disbelievingly. "You six could've come out of a costume party for all I know. I want some proof that you actually managed to travel seven hundred years in time."

"Ninja food!" Shippo whispered to Kagome.

"But that exists here," Sango whispered to Shippo.

"I don't see why we have to prove anything to you anyways!" Inuyasha challenged Hiei.

"Because our group is not at full strength," Miroku said softly, nodding towards his hands, which were still tied to the armrests. "We're also surrounded by people who may or may not be on our side. Maybe we should just run."

"Hardly an option," Hiei said with his characteristic glare.

Everyone was silent for a long moment.

"Sango," Inuyasha said quickly, "your armor and my sword! They're made out of the corpses of demons from seven hundred years ago!"

Yui nodded, "We could perform carbon dating on the specimens and approximate their age."

Miaka looked back at her and asked, "Um, why do you want to fix up that demon slayer lady with carbon?"

"Did you skip studying for the science exam for this?" Yui asked suspiciously.

"Why would you ever think that?" Miaka said too cheerily while turning around abruptly.

Chiriko noted, "But carbon dating may not have the precision we need here."

"How do you know about carbon dating?" Tetsuya asked incredulously.

"I read up on my way here," Chiriko explained, removing from his robe and holding up a thick paleontology book. "I wanted to make a textbook for Miaka."

"Thank you!" Miaka gushed.

"In any event," Hiei cut in, moving his katana slightly, "my katana may be hundreds of years old, on my say so, but that doesn't mean that I'm not five years old."

"That would explain your height!" Kuwabara heckled him good-humoredly.

Hiei's lips turned down slightly.

Yukina piped up, "Hiei, I'm very sorry to interrupt, but may I ask a question?"

His eyes turned to her, "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked roughly.

"I crossed the barrier today, am I in violation of the law?" she asked sadly.

Hiei paused a moment, but grudgingly admitted, "No, you got a pass, didn't you?"

"Yeah, what're you talking about, Yukina?" Kuwabara asked her. "Shizuru and I met you at the border patrol station! We said hi to George the ogre there too!"

"Oh, good. It was just, I was worried I had done something wrong, and, well." She smiled in relief and slight embarrassment.

"Then you're fine. Don't worry when you know you're in the right," Hiei said in a voice that was too gruff to be real.

"What about me?" the demon Itsuki, Sensui's partner, asked.

"Have you got a pass?" Hiei asked irritatedly.

"No," Itsuki admitted. Sensui pointed out, "But he hasn't crossed from Demon to Human world since the law was passed either. He's been here the whole time."

"Then you haven't broken the law either," Hiei said impatiently.

"Yusuke," Keiko whispered, "you told me that you killed Sensui when your ancestor Raizen took over your body that one time."

"So?" Yusuke asked, not seeing the immediate application.

"So what's he doing sitting right there?" she asked incredulously.

Yusuke stood up and announced to the theater at large, "Hiei, do you mind if I break in a bit? Keiko just made a good point. What are all of you dead guys doing here? How did you come back to life, Sniper? Hiei got you pretty good. My old man certainly killed you, Sensui."

"If it comes to that," Nuriko asked, "how come Ashitare's still alive after I killed him?"

"I'm the one who actually killed Ashitare," Nakago corrected him.

"And Nakago should be dead too!" Tasuki nodded at Nakago.

"Your emperor should be among the dead as well," Nakago mentioned.

"I suppose we were too beautiful an emperor to remain dead," Hotohori pontificated aloud.

"The cat and the fox are coming with me, or they will be dead," Hiei reasserted himself.

"Wait, listen to us!" Kagome insisted. "I'll tell you how we got here."

"Why?" Hiei asked bluntly.

"We really did come here from 700 years ago! Well, they did, anyhow. I'm from this time," Kagome tried to explain. "See, usually I go down a well that takes me back in time 700 years ago. That's where I met my friends," she gestured to her companions. "Usually only Inuyasha can go with me through the well from 700 years ago to this time. But then we met this guy who showed us a newspaper ad that explained that the Band of Seven would be here. We wanted to know how they had come back to life for the second time, so we wanted to come to this concert. The guy gave us some discs, and this time all of my friends could pass through the well." Kagome held up a black disc.

"Can you tell us what this guy looked like, you know?" Chichiri asked suddenly.

Kagome put a hand to her chin. Shippo hummed to himself, unable to recall. Inuyasha offered, "He didn't smell like Naraku, or much of anything."

"He was ordinary," Sango recalled, and Miroku agreed, "Almost nondescript."

"Gee, a rather plain guy gave me a black disc too, you know?" Chichiri held up an identical disc. "He said it'd let me take my friends to Miaka's reality, you know?"

Nakago held up a black disc and droned, "When I was dead, a boring person gave me a black disc and told me he had a use for me performing in this concert. I had nothing better to do, being dead, so I came. Here I am."

"I wanted to get revenge on the Suzaku Seven-" Ashitare panted as he clutched his disc.

"But there's no point to it now, so you'll stay in your seat," Nakago told him callously. Ashitare slumped back with a small whine.

Sensui held up a black disc and smiled, "Well, what do you know? I guess that's how we all got here."

Yusuke shrugged, "Another Spirit Detective case solved. Spirit World gave everybody passes and told them to come here."

Botan pointed out, "Those aren't Spirit World passes."

"Or even Demon World passes," Hiei told them all. "But I grow weary of this yammering. I shall accept your story, if only because the fox doesn't pose enough of a challenge," he eyed Shippo. Sheathing his katana, he disappeared and reappeared back into Yusuke's row.

Genkai walked to the middle of the stage and announced sarcastically, "Now that the intense legal drama is over, we'll be having a five minute intermission before the Seiryu Seven begin their act."

"Finally, let's hit the road!" Inuyasha exulted.

"Wait- Shippo, where is your black disc?" Miroku asked.

"It's right where I put it, in my belt next to my spinning top-" Shippo began to say as he reached for it, then exclaimed in horror, "Oh no, it's gone!"

Sango suddenly ran her eyes along the group. "Our discs are all gone!" Kagome looked at her hand and found the disc she had held up was gone.

"They've been stolen!" Inuyasha was outraged.

"No," Miroku contradicted him, "I watched the disc in Kagome's hand. As soon as you said we were going to leave, only a few seconds ago, it disappeared."

"The plain guy has trapped us here?" Shippo asked in horror.

"Or he refuses to let us leave the concert early," Sango considered.

"I don't believe it!" Inuyasha sighed, flopping back into his chair.

"I can see how being trapped here has upset you," Miroku said seriously. "Trust me, I quite understand your sentiments-"

"We're not untying you, Miroku," Sango interrupted him. He hung his head.

The Seiryu Seven set up the stage for their act, Miboshi floating up to the stage lights and adjusting them properly.

"Hey!" Amanuma called out, throwing Ashitare's words back at him, "since Suboshi left, there's only six of you! You're not allowed to perform in a Band of Seven!"

"The Seiryu Seven will not-" Ashitare began.

"Will not be baited by children," Nakago finished for him. Ashitare snarled but returned to his work.

When the act was ready, Nakago strode to the front and told the audience, "I didn't really ever like music when I was a child. Probably because I was too busy trying to figure out why my ethnic group was being persecuted. I found out that nowadays there's a thing called a 'grunge band'. Since I've finally accomplished vengeance upon my tribe's enemies, I thought it'd be appropriate to sing a song about how I fulfilled my grudge in grunge band style."

Ashitare suddenly began to play on an electric guitar at a volume level far too loud. Soi was either playing the drums or causing continuous thunderclaps- either way, it was very loud. Nakago began to sway precipitously, causing his long blond hair to flop and swirl all over the place. Suddenly he began to scream in a high pitched voice, very different from his usual low-pitched one, horrifying words about his many treacheries and his desire for death and mayhem. For the chorus, Miboshi joined him, adding a second harsh voice to the acoustic melee. Tomo projected with illusions some of the more horrifying scenes Nakago depicted with his lyrics.

"I don't know that this is really a grunge-style song," Mitarai winced as another thunderclap came.

"But it's certainly a grudge-style song," Sensui noted.

"Don't let them win, don't let them win, music still exists, they can't destroy it," Chiriko whispered to himself as he clutched his armrests so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"I'll have to use all of my energy to restore everyone's hearing after this song is over," Mitsukake reflected.

"We aren't going to lose you again!" Chichiri insisted.

"And that's my story," Nakago finished.

"That was sick and yet sad," Kagome commented.

"Hey," Inuyasha wiggled his ears, "I haven't lost any of my hearing!"

Genkai leaned against the wall holding a remote. "I was able to turn down the volume on the amplifiers just before the song started," she thought to herself. "I won't lose to loud music no matter how it tries to destroy my ears."

"Inuyasha," Kagome said while staring entranced at his ears, "could you wiggle your ears again?" He was puzzled, and stared at her blankly. She sighed, "Oh, never mind."

Amiboshi stepped to the center of the stage, getting many surly looks from the other Seiryu Seven since they considered him a traitor. The audience, however, looked fairly relieved that the others would not be participating in this song.

Putting the flute to his lips, Amiboshi began playing a beautiful melody. Yusuke began screaming and thrashing, and Kuwabara joined him a second later. Amiboshi stopped in surprise, and Yusuke and Kuwabara stopped thrashing and began to laugh. "Your song is killing us, man!" Yusuke quipped, "Just like in the play!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara laughed like idiots. "Yusuke!" Keiko shrieked in anger and embarrassment.

"That did almost kill us!" Hotohori shouted at them, stalking over their row, towering over them and placing his hand on his sword hilt. Yusuke and Kuwabara remained seated and continued laughing.

Tasuki stepped between the giggling duo and the Suzaku Seven. "That was actually somewhat funny," he sincerely told Yusuke and Kuwabara. "I'm still going to have to get you for it, though." He leaned forward to beat them with his iron fan.

Almost lazily, Yusuke blocked the blow with an arm as both he and Kuwabara continued to chuckle over their prank.

"Yusuke, you idiot!" Keiko yelled at Yusuke, and Shizuru muttered at Kuwabara, "Stupid baby brother." Keiko tried to slap Yusuke, and Shizuru meant to clonk Kuwabara on the head, but the quick reflexes of Kuwabara and Yusuke allowed them to block these attacks as well.

Kuwabara and Yusuke continued laughing right up until the moment when Yukina caught them both on the back of the head, simultaneously, with a single blow from Botan's paddle. After that, they flopped about on the floor and moaned.

Kagome and Sango stood up and began to clap.

"Please accept our apologies for these idiots," Keiko and Yukina said politely as they bowed in turn to Amiboshi, Hotohori, and Tasuki.

"Er, I don't mind, really," said Amiboshi, his eyes bugging out at the scene below him. "Apology accepted," Hotohori said quickly, backing away in disgust from the fallen forms of Yusuke and Kuwabara. "Yeah, no problem," Tasuki said nervously. Hotohori and Tasuki tried not to be too obvious about hurrying back to their seats.

"Please forgive me," Yukina said as she handed back the paddle to Botan, "I took this without asking."

"As far as I'm concerned, you had my heartiest permission and endorsement," Botan smiled at her.

"Nicely done," Shizuru complimented Yukina. "You've learned well under our guidance," Keiko patted Yukina on the shoulder.

"I don't want a girlfriend anymore," Amanuma said in a small voice.

"I'm surprised that Old Genkai isn't talking about a fee," Shippo said to himself.

"Being old and feeble, I couldn't quite tell," Genkai announced aloud to the audience, "did something just happen?"

"Nothing of consequence," Hiei lounged in his seat.

"Well, then please, keep playing," Genkai gestured to Amiboshi.

"Er, yes, of course," Amiboshi agreed. He began to get into the song again, and his parents held up the sign cheering him on. Eventually the whole audience- well, all of it that was conscious- began to get really into the song, and gave him a standing ovation. Chiriko showed his approval with a small trill on his leaf whistle. Amiboshi smiled, bowed, and left the stage. The remaining Seiryu Seven followed him sullenly.

"Right," Genkai said, walking onto the stage and taking the microphone, "it's time for another intermission, then the last band of the evening, the Seven Psycho Psychics, is on."

Keiko looked at Yusuke's unconscious body and at Inuyasha's necklace. It was now or never, she decided.

* * *

Next Chapter:

"I'll start off our act by doing a bit of resshukoukyuuha."

"Is that a made-up word?"

"I won't allow you to die before I do."

"The tickets will sell faster than your ogres lose paperwork!"


	7. Chapter 7

Keiko sidled up to Kagome. "Hello, my name's Keiko Yukimura," Keiko introduced herself surreptitiously.

"I'm Kagome Higurashi," Kagome said, a little surprised to see her.

"I don't mean to be nosy," Keiko said diffidently, "but I couldn't help but notice the necklace that your friend wears."

"Oh, Inuyasha's Beads of Subjugation?" Kagome said in greater surprise. She didn't think the Beads' color matched Keiko's hair.

"Yes," Keiko continued awkwardly, "I was wondering, where did you get them? Did you make them yourself?"

Kagome realized she had never asked these questions of Priestess Kaede, who had given her the Beads. "I'm sorry," Kagome said, feeling slightly foolish, "they were given to me by a friend, so I actually have no idea. Why do you want-" she suddenly stopped. It was suddenly all too obvious. Yusuke and Inuyasha were very alike. Kagome didn't know how Keiko remained sane without Beads of Subjugation on Yusuke.

"I'm sorry I can't help you," Kagome finished.

"Well, if you ever find out, let me know, please," Keiko said, with a tinge of desperation.

As Keiko walked away sadly, Kagome suddenly realized how valuable Beads of Subjugation were. If she could make them, she could get rich! But then she wondered, what would happen if they fell into the wrong hands? For example, what if Naraku got some and put them on Inuyasha? Kagome paled as she had a truly horrible thought- what if Inuyasha were to get his hands on another set of Beads and put it on her own neck?

No, she decided, she couldn't live with herself if the knowledge was put to such evil use.

Kuwabara slowly started to move again. "What happened?" he groaned at Yusuke.

"I don't really remember," Yusuke admitted as he tried to regain enough sensation and balance to stand up.

They struggled back into their seats very slowly.

"I think I remember now," Kuwabara said a few minutes later, in a low voice, "we were- oh no! Don't tell me Yukina gave us the finishing blow!"

"'Fraid so, pal," Yusuke whispered.

"They heal fast for humans," Kurama thought to himself.

The Seven Psycho Psychics were in the meantime making what few adjustments they needed for their act.

Genkai appeared on stage. "Ladies, gentlemen, and a certain dimwit," she glared at Yusuke as she said the last word, "it's now my great pleasure to introduce to you the last band of the evening, the Seven Psycho Psychics." There was polite applause.

Sensui took the microphone from Genkai, and Genkai left the stage. Sensui spoke, "Thank you all for coming to our debut performance. I'll start off our act by doing a bit of resshukoukyuuha."

"Is that a made-up word?" Tasuki gaped at Sensui.

"No, it must be derived from the most advanced style of martial arts known, reshuuken," Tamahome shook his head. "Master Tokaki said that you had to know every other form of martial arts to use reshuuken. This guy not only learned how to do that, but he also combined it with his own energy."

Itsuki, Sensui's demon partner, brought out a board, which he laid across two sawhorses in front of Sensui.

"So, now he breaks the board, right?" Kagome thought to herself.

Sensui backed up about ten feet behind the board and launched a powerful kick at it while saying, "Resshuushiendan." Many purple balls of energy emanated from his feet, and they flew towards the board, shattering it and making it smolder.

"He broke the board," Kagome thought to herself, stunned.

The entire band of the Seven Psycho Psychics: Sensui, Itsuki, Doctor, Sniper, Mitarai, and Game Master, stood in a line, then proceeded to do a song a capella. One wouldn't have expected it from the name of their band, but the song was actually quite sane and even pleasant. Chiriko nodded approvingly. The lyrics involved pain and horror, but it led to life reborn. The audience was so awed and felt such a glow of warmth that they were totally silent for a moment, before giving a very appreciative round of applause.

Doctor took the microphone and said, "I'd like to take a moment to tell you all about House of Miracle Hands. It's a medical charity that I've started, where I use my mysterious powers to heal people." He had set up a projector and now showed a short, touching slideshow of the people he'd helped through the charity.

"A worthy goal," Mitsukake nodded.

"It's a good thing it's a charity," Tetsuya thought to himself. "How would you bill insurance for that treatment? 'Psychic injury therapy'?"

"Doctor's certainly changed a lot since you fought him, Yusuke," Keiko mentioned to him. Yusuke nodded. He and Kuwabara felt almost as though they'd fully recovered just listening to how much these people had changed.

Kiyoshi Mitarai and Amanuma stepped forward to join Doctor for the next song.

"Go Kiyoshi!" Kuwabara and Yusuke yelled.

Amanuma the Game Master played the theremin, a musical instrument composed of two metal hoops which the user moves his hands through to create unearthly tones. His excellent hand-eye coordination had allowed him to master the instrument after one of his new friends introduced it to him. Doctor played the violin, putting to good use his careful and precise movements. Kiyoshi used his voice as an instrument.

"Yeah Kiyoshi!" Kuwabara cheered and held up his hands in two peace signs as the audience applauded thunderously.

"This is music even a kid like me can appreciate," Shippo said appreciatively.

Miaka looked over at Yusuke's row and said happily, "You know, those weird people in the front row must actually be good to have such nice friends."

"I'm really glad I decided to come," Yui told Keisuke. "There've been so many wonderful performances."

Now Amanuma came forward with Sensui for a comedy act. Sensui said, "Ki Kou To I" and was suddenly enveloped in armor.

"Amazing," Miroku breathed, "he has such a strong soul that he can envelop himself in armor."

Amanuma got out a portable video game player and mimed making motions on it. Sensui mimed being the player character of the video game, under Amanuma's control. Amanuma made Sensui jump incredibly high in the air, and defeat various enemies (really Sniper and Itsuki) with stage fighting. Then he started making Sensui do a bizarre little victory dance, during which another enemy (Doctor) simply walked up, flicked Sensui, and made him fall over. Amanuma shook his fist at his video game player. The audience laughed, and the players took a bow.

Sensui had convinced Itsuki that instead of having Ura-Otoko sing, Itsuki should sing himself. Itsuki nervously took the stage and began, and the hall went deathly silent. He sang of pain and loss. When he was done, he looked out nervously over the audience.

Nothing happened for a moment.

The audience then stood and applauded raucously. The rest of the Seven Psycho Psychics clapped Itsuki on the back and congratulated him.

When the applause was done, Genkai took the stage again, only to find herself being applauded by an enthusiastic audience. She was too old to be really moved by this adulation, she told herself, and yet-

"I thought I told you to discontinue that third-person omniscient narration," Genkai said under her breath.

"Thank you all, and I'd like to thank all of our performers," she said, and the audience applauded yet again. "Good evening to you all, and we hope to see you again in the near future." She bowed and left the stage, and the audience began to leave.

"Hey! Our black discs just reappeared!" Shippo said excitedly, finding his disc back in his belt. "We can go home now!"

"That was a great concert, wasn't it, Inuyasha?" Kagome said happily, "This trip was worth it even without any Jewel Shards!"

"I suppose," he allowed, then added, "Can we pick up some ninja food on the way back?"

Miroku sighed in relief as Sango finally untied him. He flexed his fingers and discovered the itch in his neck had entirely disappeared.

Yusuke and his group shook hands with the Seven Psycho Psychics, trying to delay the inevitable moment when they'd all have to return to their separate lives in Human World and Demon World.

"I guess we have to return now," Mitsukake said sadly to Miaka, Tamahome, Yui, Tetsuya, and Keisuke.

"Thank you all so much for coming!" Miaka said. "You were all wonderful performers."

"Miaka," Nuriko said sadly.

"You wouldn't mind if we maybe came back for another concert with you, would you?" Chichiri asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Of course not!" Miaka said happily. Yui added, "Please, do come back soon." Keisuke pretended to sigh and joked, "All right, but I'm not taking anyone on the subway!" Everyone laughed.

"Come back and visit us when you can," Tamahome offered gallantly, with a laugh.

"We may take you up on that, if Chichiri agrees to let us borrow his hat," Hotohori smiled.

"Anytime, you know?" Chichiri agreed.

"I'll have lots to tell the other bandits," Tasuki grinned, revealing his small fangs. "Thanks for inviting us here, Miaka." She returned, "Thank you, Tasuki."

Chiriko held up the thick biology book towards Miaka. "It'll take me a while to write a whole textbook on this. But in the meantime I made some footnotes for you." Chiriko would've written the footnotes in Chinese, but Miaka knew Yui could help her understand them.

"Thank you so much," Miaka took the textbook back, trying not to cry. It was so inspiring to have so many friends, and so sad to see them all go.

One by one, Mitsukake, Hotohori, Chiriko, Nuriko, and Tasuki stepped into the hat. Chichiri entered last, and the hat flew out of the theater.

They remained looking at the exit their friends had used for a few moments longer.

"Oh no," Tetsuya slapped his forehead. "We forgot Amiboshi and his parents! They're still in this reality!"

* * *

"So, are we going to die again, or what?" Miboshi pondered.

"Who cares," Nakago said dully.

"I won't allow you to die before I do," Soi said possesively, tightening her grip on his arm even further.

* * *

Genkai, from her office in the theater, said into a telephone, "Are you kidding? The tickets will sell faster than your ogres lose paperwork! I just need more promotion, and more bands for next time." She listened to something on the other end, and responded, "No, Koenma, I fired my lousy agent. This time I'm going to do it all myself. It'll be something really good!"

* * *

Far away, a plain, nondescript person walks along a long country road, on the outskirts of the town where the theater is located. The nondescript person is Dragonwiles, the author.

The sun is setting on the horizon, as it is on the story, and the author is reflecting on how the story went.

"Wow," Dragonwiles speaks thoughts aloud, "I didn't expect half of that stuff to happen until it did! I'd say I'm quite pleased by the results, in any case." Musing further, Dragonwiles says, "Gee, I hadn't meant to be so hard on some of the characters, though. I mean, I didn't want to be so mean to poor Shippo. And why did I start picking on Ashitare the wolf guy like that? I feel sorry for him. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings. I wonder if I got any of his fans upset."

The shade of a nearby hill has created darkness ahead of him, and in the darkness Dragonwiles notices many pairs of eerily glowing eyes. Dragonwiles takes a cautious step backwards, and the eyes advance towards him. As Dragonwiles' own eyes become more adjusted to the light, and Dragonwiles hears various snuffles and barks, it becomes clear that these are the eyes of a multitude of large wolves.

"Uh-oh," Dragonwiles murmurs. "You're Ashitare's fans, and since this is an insane fanfiction, you've all gained his ability to turn into huge wolves. I get it. And, you're mad, aren't you?"

The fanwolves began to stalk forward slowly, with low, menacing growls.

Dragonwiles put forward open palms in a nonthreatening manner. "Look, I feel bad for him too! I've felt sorry for him ever since I learned how Nakago tortured him!"

The wolves stalk closer and closer, hemming him in and cutting off his retreat.

* * *

"So, we're really sorry," Tamahome finished saying to Amiboshi.

"Could we put them up at our house?" Miaka whispered to Keisuke. "There's not enough room," he disagreed, "even if we slept on the floor."

"I could put you up at my house," Tetsuya offered.

"That'll be fine, I guess," Amiboshi nodded, and his surprised adopted parents nodded too. "But would we have to take that rocking carriage thing to get to your house?"

* * *

Dragonwiles has been mortally wounded. Draongwiles coughs heavily a moment, then finally manages to gasp some last words, "I only regret that I never put in a disclaimer for this fanfiction. I'd better go ahead and do it now. This disclaimer shall be so construed as to apply to the entirety of this fanfiction. The author does not own, and does not claim to own, anything copyrighted, trademarked, or otherwise owned by anyone else."

One of the fan wolves was leaving the scene, but hearing some sounds from Dragonwiles, comes back.

"The author does not claim to own any of the series, characters, events, jokes, or concepts, images too, despite using them-" Dragonwiles cuts off as the wolf bites him a few more times to make him stop talking.

* * *

**Credits**

I made up Mitarai having a girlfriend- this is supposed to be set after the Yu Yu Hakusho series is done, so by now he might have a girlfriend.

The following articles helped me to have a somewhat factual basis for this insane comedy. Blame me first for inaccuracies or insanities. I deserve it.

Fushigi Yugi:

Wikipedia: "Fusihigi Yugi" for reminding me that the guy with sunglasses is Tetsuya Kajiwara

Wikipedia: "Mitsukake" for reminding me that his cat is Tama

Wikipedia: "Tomo (Seiryu Seishi)" for helping me finally get his name right

Thanks to for reminding me that Tokaki is the name of Tamahome's master

Thanks to genbukaiden. for the proper spelling of Taiitsukun

Fushigi Yugi Songs:

Thanks to "Fushigi Yugi" ( for name of Eikoden opening song "Chijou no Seiza" as well as opening song of the anime series, "Itooshi Hito no Tame Ni."

Thanks to Anime "YES - Koko ni Eien ga Aru" at for the title of that song, the ending song for Eikoden

* * *

**One Week Later at the Awayuki Mansion:**

Near the front steps of a large mansion, a young woman with pinkish hair named Himeno and a young man with long blue hair named Hayate were in the middle of a heated debate.

Hayate told Himeno, "But it's a great opportunity for us! We've never gotten a chance to exercise our musical side before!"

"But I don't have a musical side!" Himeno shook her head angrily.

"We're perfect for it- there are seven Leafe Knights, and this is a concert for bands of seven!" Hayate insisted.

"Then why don't all of you do it, why are you dragging me into this?" Himeno asked, bewildered.

"Because, tulip head, we obviously can't be a band based on the theme of "Seven Dwarves" without someone to be a "Snow White"!" Hayate insisted.

Himeno yelled, "Stop calling me tulip head!"

* * *

**Inuyasha:**

Wikipedia: "List of InuYasha characters" for reminding me of Kyokotsu and Mukotsu's name

* * *

**At the residence of Shigure Sohma:**

Tohru Honda walked out onto the porch, her long brown hair fluttering, and mentioned, "I just got this neat letter!"

Kyo turned from where he lay, while Yuki smiled at Tohru and said pleasantly, "What makes it so neat, Ms. Honda?"

"It says that we've been invited to perform in a concert for bands of seven or more!" Tohru explained.

"But we aren't a band," Kyo pointed out, frowning.

"I'm sure that we could learn," Yuki said convincingly.

"I bet that all of you would make a great band," Tohru said sincerely.

"Why thank you, Ms. Honda," Yuki said, pleased.

"I haven't picked up a guitar since I was ten," Kyo grumbled.

"Since you tried to imitate a rock star and broke it over your knee," Yuki corrected him.

"I was just getting excited!" Kyo huffed, and rolled over, and left.

* * *

**Yu Yu Hakusho:**

Wikipedia: "Chapter Black Saga" for helping me get the name of the literature buff psychic, Yuu Kaitou, and for proper spelling of Mitarai and reminding me of the name of Doctor's charity and the name of Ura-Otoko, the demon who lives in the earth and is controlled by Itsuki

Wikipedia: "Dark Tournament Saga" for reminding me of Sakyo's name

Wikipedia: "Shinobu Sensui" for reminding me of the fighting style names: reshuuken, resshukoukyuuha, resshuushiendan

Wikipedia: "Yu Yu Hakusho" for reminding me of Keiko's last name: Yukimura

* * *

**At the Niwa Residence:**

Kosuke Niwa walked into the room and mentioned, "Hey, Daisuke, you got a letter. Do you know who sent it? It says Genkai on the return address."

"Genkai?" Daisuke Niwa, Kosuke's son, shook his head. "I don't know anyone named Genkai. Usually Mom sends out mysterious letters. Now I'm getting them?"

Daisuke took and opened the letter as With, a small animal who resembled a white rabbit with red eyes, looked over his shoulder. Daisuke read it quickly and raised his eyebrows and protested, "But I'm not a musician!"

"What have you got there?" his mother asked. She took the letter and read it quickly. "Oh, this is wonderful, Dai! You should perform as Phantom Dark!"

"Mom!" Daisuke was astonished at her. How could she suggest he perform as his other self in front of people? Someone might figure out their connection, and as both Daisuke and Dark were theives, that could have dangerous consequences. Not only that, but the letter mentioned that Satoshi Hiwatari was going to be in the band. If Hiwatari or his other half, Krad, chose to fight during the concert, innocents might get hurt.

"Hey," Dark said within Daisuke's mind, "you can trust me to lead Krad to someplace private for a battle. Besides, the letter says the Harada sisters will be part of the band too. You want to see them, don't you?"

"Dark!" Daisuke hung his head.

* * *

**Ex post facto:**

Wikipedia: "Ex post facto law" aided my memory of Latin

Gnarr (definition):

Thanks to Webster's New World Dictionary and software 2.0 for the definition of gnarr: basically to growl

Radiocarbon dating:

Wikipedia: "Radiocarbon dating" for refreshing my memory

* * *

**At Wherever it Was that We Left Dragonwiles:**

The camera dramatically pans to Dragonwiles, who is still lying motionless on the road.

Dramatic music soars as the sun rises, and the body of Dragonwiles begins to change shape. The fingers lengthen, and the ends develop long, curved claws. Scales replace hair and skin. The eyes enlarge, and the pupils change form. Wings grow out of the back.

When the transformation is complete, Dragonwiles rises upon new legs, no longer human, but a full dragon. Dragonwiles looks at the camera and chuckles, in a deep voice, "You didn't really think I was dead, did you?" He snorts out a smoke ring in amusement, then yawns as the dawn breaks. The yawn causes a stream of fire to break out of Dragonwiles' mouth.

"Too much left to write," Dragonwiles nods, and flies off towards the dawn.


End file.
